A Mosen Explosion Promotional Announcement, inspired by Sara Hillis

Yesterday I was revelling in my summer break, as you do, listening to the cricket and enjoying being totally immersed in books the rest of the time, when my phone went Ding! IN a languid manner befitting this time of year, I somewhat listlessly reached for my phone to investigate.

To my stunned astonishment, the Mushroom FM Announce list had sent a message from Sara Hillis, telling me what would be on her superb Celtic music show, Come by the Hills, 48 hours from now. And I’m totally like wo! Wo I’m totally like! A message about a show 48 hours before it airs? How organised and poised is Sara Hillis! How can I possibly better that, I thought, as feelings of woeful inadequacy wafted over me like foggy dissonance.

Then, in a flash and a trice, a trice and a flash, I had the answer! If Sara Hillis can put us all to shame by being so organised that she can promote a show 48 hours from now, then I’d just have to promote a show even further in advance! Yes, she has aimed high, but I shall aim higher still!

So ladies and gentlemen, here’s what’s coming up on the Mosen Explosion for Sunday, 15 January…2045.

Following America’s first gruelling election campaign with two major party women candidates, Ivanka Trump and Chelsea Clinton, we’re heading into inauguration week. We’ll play some highlights of previous memorable inaugural addresses, including the 2041 address from outgoing President Bruno Mars.

During my summer break, I’ve been experimenting with new knowledge-banks for Apple’s latest smart brain implant. I’ll show you how to buy, download and install the Italian language. Then after giving you some time to get this knowledge bank installed yourself, I’ll be doing the rest of the show in Italian, just because I now can and in belated celebration of the 100th anniversary of the liberation of Italy in world war II. Oh and because I feel like low carb pizza. You can not go wrong with low carb pizza.

The grand-banana report is with us once again, as we hear about their latest supersonic flight to the UK to see the Beatles Hologram show. Old grandpa Mosen thinks it’s sacrilege, but they think I’m a fuddy duddy. And after all, it’s only a 30 minute flight away.

Bonnie is back with her bulletin, in which she talks excitedly about the controlled jump she finally took from New Zealand’s tallest building. Her smart implant recorded the whole thing in glorious binaural sound, and if your implant is equipped with the full sense-surround capability, stand in the centre of the field and you’ll actually feel the full sensation of the jump.

We’ll look back in history, and of course we look forward to hearing from you. Grant Mushroom FM the ability to receive your thoughts directed at us during the show, and we’ll all be able to interact by thought with each other while the music plays. The usual reminder applies, please be careful only to direct Mushroom FM-related thoughts to us. I’ve learned things during these shows I really would rather not know.

The show starts right after Darren at 2 PM Eastern, 7 PM UK on Sunday, that’s 8 AM New Zealand time on Monday. Just tell your implant to pipe the Mushroom FM audio into your ears at that time, and you’ll hear it in its full binaural glory.

So, that’s the Mosen Explosion for 15 January 2045. Oh, you want to know what’s on tomorrow? Well, you’ll just have to jolly well tune into find out.

There ya go, beat that, Sara Hillis! Beat that I say!